The wandering path and it’s struggles…

I’ve tried to write this post a hundred times now.  Do I want it to be positive and upbeat, or do I get down and dirty, raw?

Well today has been a rough day, so you get raw.  This road life has us on is a difficult one.  Sure we have our days in the sunshine, like the tall ship festival, but what you don’t realize is the effort it took just to get into the sunshine.  It’s a not “hop in the car let’s go” easy event.  It takes us over an hour to get out of the house.  The physical struggles and frustration, on all front’s, that a simple task of getting a tennis shoe on is lost in translation of the smiling faces you see in the pictures.  Our house has tears, cussing, and excruciating pain to accomplish even the simplest task when it comes to an “outing”.  It’s why we’re hermits most of the time.  It’s just easier and explaining gets old.  We love our moments in the sun, but we’ve grown quite comfortable in the dark.  It’s not just Doc.  It’s our son too.  So, not only is Doc slowly leaving us, our son is barely hanging on to staying here.

You see smiles and Doc seeming better, but we only share his good days for a reason.  Reality: the sun is eclipsed and more grey.  We fight a daily battle I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

We’re on a wandering path.  We don’t know when, where, or how it will end; we just know we’re on it toether, the three of us.

Here’s some pictures from our day in the sun.  We enjoyed each other and the outing.  Hope you do too.

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Recharging. Cause sometimes life just sucks and you don’t have anything to give, even to yourself.

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So, I decided it was time to take a solo trip to the beach. The PTB have been nagging at me here of late that I needed to recharge. I knew I needed it, but they knew best, and knew I needed it BAD. They blessed me with a double fly over by a couple of seahawks . Flyover one as I’m walking up the ramp. And the boys came back for flyover two as I got settled on the beach. I could almost jump up and tap em 😘. It’s the simple things that bring joy.

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The water was the most beautiful blues and greens it resembled gemstones.

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I took some selfies, which I hate doing. I never like myself in pictures, but I don’t want to leave the changes I go through undocumented. And my physical body has changed a lot. Some for the good, some for the bad. Then I put on some music, soaked in the energy from the sun, sand, and sea. Pulled my beautiful orb out and channeled all the emotions and energy in me and around me. It was a much needed release and refill. I’ve been slowing killing myself with everything we’re dealing with and it was physically affecting me. If I’m going to honest, it was beginning to get scary on my end. 6C4F28F9-6808-4DD2-BEC9-B438B7D3848E11FD7FD2-9B8D-48C9-A7FF-88566B9DC354B1E2414F-5A5C-43B5-A2EB-A5798F12DED1B3E3E998-98F2-4345-8D7A-1CDE250EE590

I’m slowly learning my lesson. Things are different now. For all three of us. We’ve got to adapt and move forward. Accept what is and roll with it. And accepting some of those realities has been rather hard and scary.

Love to you all and welcome,

 

sunnie

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